Something remarkable happened this mornin

Me happily cheering (and NOT running) during last year’s NYCRuns Brooklyn Half. Feels so good to be on the sidelines sometimes.

It’s been 9 days since I ran the Big Sur Marathon. More than a week without a plan.

The best - and worst - part of any training cycle is the weeks following.

Freed from the pressure of chasing just-out-of-reach goals, there are no runs you have to do. Nothing to train for.

I’ve talked a lot about how because of this, it can be a confusing and difficult time.

Towards the end of training, I was ready for a break. I craved it, needed it. Lacing up every morning felt increasingly like a chore.

As a coach, I think it's important to acknowledge that rest—and the discomfort it can bring—is as much a part of training as any long run.

Still, just a few days into my much-needed hiatus, I felt my anxiety spike.

What if I never want to come back to running? What happens if I decide it’s not worth it?

Thankfully, I have been training my mind along with my body the past few months.

No, not in the typical how bad do you want it way.

In January, my sister Mariah texted me.

Practicing yoga during my certification. Of course with a heavy filter because, well, it was 2014.

Did I want to join her and a friend in a class Friday evening? They have been to a few already and thought I might be interested.

It was a drop-in lecture at Kadampa NYC for a rotating series, an hour at the end of the week to learn about and practice Buddhism.

Unbeknownst to her, I had just finished the book Awakening the Buddha Within.

I have been spiritually-curious since 2014 when my mother-in-law led me through a yoga teacher training. The 200-hour Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT) certification required studying all eight limbs of yoga—not just the physical postures.

Although they are two distinct systems, yoga and Buddhism overlap in many areas: ethical conduct, meditation, mindfulness, and detachment from the self, to name a few.

Teaching yoga never stuck, but mindfulness did. I have since practiced meditation on-and-off and have been periodically keen on learning more.

Whatever peace there was to discover, I want it.

At Kadampa NYC

Needless to say, I joined Mariah and have been back every single week, minus a few travel weeks.

In April, the instructor Edwin announced in a thick Northern English accent a new series called From Worrier to Warrior. He chuckled as he apologized for not coming up with a better title.

But it fit the topic all too well. Humans struggle with worry amid uncertainty. Buddhism offers a shift in perspective to that of a peaceful warrior.

Yes, you, too, can meet challenges with a calm confidence cemented in spiritual practice.

I mean…sounds good to me!

The first lesson was the reasoning behind worry.

It’s the ego’s attempt at control among uncertainty.

We think, and we think, and then we think some more.

We theorize all possible outcomes. All possible remedies.

These thoughts feel like protection—as if worrying could manifest the result we want.

But this is an illusion, a dime-a-dozen trick of the ego.

In order to liberate yourself from the needless suffering - this mental tax - you need only accept two possible outcomes:

1. The desired result doesn’t happen. Regardless of your worrying, it wasn’t going to happen anyway. No need to torture yourself with a needless mental spiral.

2. The desired result actually comes about. So it was possible! Wonderful. So why worry over it?

In any and all circumstances, worrying controls nothing. It was either going to happen or it wasn’t.

Of course, taking action toward your goal matters—but worry itself contributes nothing.

So imagine my delight when…

Finishing at the Sir Chinmoy Half Marathon At Rockland Lake (2024). Sri Chinmoy is the perfect intersection of running and mindfulness!

I began noticing anxious thoughts swirling around my head. A chance to practice dharma and implement what I’ve learned!

Ok, yea, nerd alert.

I had been worried I would never come back to running after a break.

That’s silly, I thought. Worrying isn’t going to control whether I want to run or not. If anything, the added stress would be the nail in the coffin.

Every time the worry returned, I greeted it with the same response: Thinking won’t change the outcome.

And wouldn’t you know it, I woke up this morning eager to run. Excited, even.

I had given myself permission to take off as long as I wanted, which I assumed would be a month. I lasted 9 days.

Gray clouds gathered outside, a chilly drizzle washing over the concrete. These are the exact conditions that would normally drive me to fantasize about skipping my run.

But today, I felt compelled to run. Like a pure animal instinct, I couldn’t tell you why, but I needed to.

Just a 5k, I thought. And you can stop if you’re not feeling it.

I returned home sweaty after 5 miles. Smiling. Wanting more.

Turns out, peace—and the desire to run—often return the moment we stop trying to force them.

Remember all that talk about me taking it easy in the off-season? Bunch of mumbo jumbo, apparently.

I just signed up for HYROX - Men’s Single in NYC on May 31st!

Although I’ve been saying “it’s on my list” for about a year, I didn’t expect to compete in one so soon. I randomly got connected yesterday with someone selling his slot. Before I could even think, I decided to sign up.

Am I in shape for it? Have I ever practiced the required exercises? Do I even really know what it is?

We’ll have to see!